5 Steps to Consider When Talking to your Partner about Couples Therapy
Erika Boissiere
Do not (and we repeat, do not) introduce the topic during a heated argument.
If anything, do the opposite. Introduce the idea of considering therapy when you are both in a positive space (or at least, a non-argumentative space). To encourage cooperation and avoid defensiveness, try to use "I" statements, avoid blaming or saying "you".
Do a bit of homework, but don't do it all by yourself.
Do some due diligence on why counseling might help your current circumstance, but don't present to your partner the final decision. Why? Your partner should be an active participant in the decision as well as the process to select a therapist, and may have a strong opinion on the matter.
Review websites together - even if just passing your phones back and forth.
It's amazing how busy our lives are - and sometimes sitting down together and thoroughly reviewing a therapist's bio is just too time consuming (and overwhelming!) However, do your best to explore different practitioners and therapeutic approaches as not all are the same. You can learn about our specific point of view and expertise here.
Decide what you want out of therapy.
Define your therapy goals together. Therapy is a commitment of time, money, and effort and this exercise can help ensure you and your partner are aligned around what you want to achieve, and whether or not you can benefit from therapy. We also suggest that you share what you fear about couples therapy ahead of time. We find that many couples continually put off seeking therapy because they fear the potential topics that might be broached.
Don't wait until the last minute.
Often people do not seek assistance until the relationship has reached the bitter end. Couples turn to therapy is last resort before deciding to call it quits. If you are considering couples therapy, really think about it, and then act on that decision. Don't wait until your relationship continues to erode. If you are interested in learning more about how we can help, contact us.