Tools for Couples

The Relationship Grid

Do you fight with your partner and don't know how to come back to your "normal self?" You need to know where you are on the Relationship Grid.

How to use the tool: Once you locate which quadrant you are in, you either move up or down, left or right depending on where you are. Remember: if you have to know where you are, to know where you are going.

Demographic: Couples that struggle with conflict
Goal: Learn about your way of relating to the world, and attempt to move to a healthier functioning
Credit: Terry Real, LCSW


Do your fights get out of control? Do you have trouble saying or doing things you wished you hadn't? Learn about how to take a proper time out. This is your circuit braker to fights that spin out of control. We use them when needed, and sometimes, if it's a hard day, week or year, we use this tool a lot.

Demographic: Couples that struggle with conflict
Goal: Learn how to slow your brain down, and your fights down by taking a time out
Credit: Terry Real, LCSW


Letter to your Adaptive Child

Who are you when you're at your worst? What sort of person do you become? Chances are, you are utilzing skills that you learned in childhood. These skills were needed to survive your family system. However, it is these very skills that are driving a wedge between you and your partner. Learn how to let this go, and replace it with the more functioning part of yourself.

Demographic: Couples that struggle with conflict
Goal: Get to know your "Adaptive Child" and realize the harm it's causing
Credit: Terry Real, LCSW